September and October

Warning: Due to my failure to write to all of you consistently, this blog entry is quite long...sorry oh!

Lessons for the Month(s)

“But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, ‘You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.’”

Mark 10:42-45

I am amazed by how often the Lord gives me something to focus on to help me grow closer to Him and closer to what He is doing. It seems that when He wants to teach me something, He will place that lesson directly in front of me over and over again until I recognize what He is teaching me. Then when I lose focus, which happens more often than not, He will persistently, yet patiently, teach me the lesson again. I think that servant leadership is the topic in which God is currently doing this in my life.

Fish Town, River Gee sub-base

I believe God is revealing to me where my concept of servant leadership has been lacking. I have found that my stand on servant leadership has been that if we want to be good leaders then we must serve. This concept has, in fact, helped me to do nice things in the past, but as God draws me nearer to Him, I think He wants to challenge me to take the next step into His thinking. In the past, and even now, I have striven to serve people because I know that that is what I am supposed to do and that is how I will reach greater success. My primary motive has been to achieve greatness as the Bible seems to offer. Matthew 20:16 – “So the last will be first…” Psalm 145:14 – “The Lord…raises up all who are bowed down.” As I honestly evaluate my heart, I can see that my desire to be great, to be first, and to be raised up has been my motivation for service. Is it okay to be motivated to do “good” because of the reward? After all, isn't that the basic reason most Christians pursue Christ – to receive the reward of Heaven, the complete and eternal communion with God? Is following Christ actually in a sense a selfish act? Is it looking out for one’s own self? These are some questions that I've wrestled with as the Lord has been guiding me through the lessons of servant leadership.

While I don’t think I can fully answer these questions yet, I think God has been pointing out one main thing to me through these thoughts. I think right now God is more interested in my heart’s growth than my head’s. Doing what God wants, or obedience, is a great first step to having a relationship with Him, but if the heart is never right, we are missing out on so much more. The Pharisees often did what they were supposed to do, but their hearts weren't in it for the right reason. I think God wants me to recognize that service is not about what I will get out of it; instead, it should purely be about how God can bless another through me. If God chooses to lift me up through that service, that is His choice – simply a gift – but it should not influence my decision to serve.

 I have found my heart’s shortcoming evident as I look back at how I have chosen to love my family…the people closest to me. My family knows me better than anyone else (except for God of course). They know me so well that the things I do can almost be anticipated by them in advance. Their knowledge of my character is rooted deep. They are very familiar with both my strengths and weaknesses; therefore, my individual actions have less impact on their understanding of my character than they would have on a stranger. This intimacy is a great thing…I know my family will love me regardless of what I do. They've already seen my good and my bad and have continued to love me. My response to this unconditional love…complacency in the way I serve them. Because they already know me, I have no reason to convince them that I’m a good person; so I've grown lazy in serving my family. Basically, because I feel that there would be no reward in serving my family, I've at times nearly ceased in serving them. It is easy for me to serve strangers because I know that by serving them, I can win their appreciation and create a good view of myself in their minds. My family already knows me…there is very little convincing them that I’m a better person than I really am. Here in Liberia, that can be called bluffing. This "bluffing" often comes in the form of dressing nice in church to be recognized, or being flashy with possessions to make yourself look well off. I have come to realize that often my service to others is simply me bluffing…trying to make myself look like something that honestly I’m not.

I was pretty excited to find a fellow Coug fan!

A number of weeks ago the Lord brought me to read Psalm 145:14 – “The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down.” I marked this verse in my Bible and then forgot about it, but because it was marked, I revisited the verse recently and wrote down some thoughts. I wrote, “So if I seek to become small so that I can then become great, am I missing the point all together? I’m not completely sure, but it seems that I just need to give up my aspirations for greatness. I just need to serve, not so I will then be lifted up, but simply because God asks me to serve. The result should be of no consequence to my decision to serve.” That is what I'm starting to believe complete surrender can look like.

Several weeks ago, one of our security guards here in River Gee led us in devotions. He spoke from 1 Kings 13. This chapter is about an unnamed “man of God”. Back in the month of May of this year, I read this chapter and made some notes about it in my journal. This is what I wrote five months ago, “God used this man to do His work, but his name wasn’t even recorded. That doesn’t make him unimportant or his purpose meaningless; it just means his name didn’t need to be known. This is a good lesson for me. I so often think that in order for me to be important to God, I have to be important to man. I need to be okay with being a nameless man for God. I just need to follow Him and I will be important. Stop looking for human recognition and appreciation.” Through this morning devotion, God demonstrated his persistence in teaching me this lesson. There is actually a great article about unnamed people in the Bible that still played an important role. The closing thought in this article was very good. It says, “For ourselves, it is sufficient to know that, whether our names are blazoned abroad or unknown, easy or difficult to pronounce, short or long, full of meaning or unattractive, they are written upon God’s palms and in heaven every child of His is to have a new name.” Here is a link to that article.

So why is it so important that we do things without asking for recognition? What’s so wrong with gratefully accepting the recognition of your good work? After all, you worked hard for it. I think C.S. Lewis explains this error in thinking very well in his well-known book, Mere Christianity. Lewis uses a made up character named Dick to illustrate his point. Dick is a good man—he is nice mannered and treats others well. He does not, however, have a true relationship with Christ yet. This is what Lewis wrote, “There is a paradox here. As long as Dick does not turn to God, he thinks his niceness is his own, and just as long as he thinks that, it is not his own. It is when Dick realizes that his niceness is not his own but a gift from God, and when he offers it back to God—it is just then that it begins to be really his own” (Book 3, Chapter 10). The error in thinking that it is okay to receive recognition is thinking that you have done a good thing. The Bible tells us that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (James1:17, NKJV). When we do something that is good, we must recognize that while it may be us physically performing that act, it is not from ourselves—it is directly from God. Therefore, receiving praise without giving it up to God is quite simply stealing…it’s like plagiarism. And we clearly know that stealing and plagiarism are not good. C.S. Lewis is making the point that only when we can give credit where credit is due, that is to God, will He begin to actually affect our hearts. It is then that He’ll begin to change our very beings to be more like Him. By recognizing this, God will then actually help us to become “good” people.

As interns, we were challenged in October to consider five ways we can take the place of a servant leader. Here is the list of the things I would like to practice this month:

• Weekly write and print  Bible verses and devotional thoughts and hand them out to the RG WASH team
• On weekends help with cleaning the base (sweeping, mopping, laundry, dishes, etc.)
• Complement those I’m working with and those I’m working around
• Give up worrying about appearances – dance, sing, laugh w/out worrying about what people think
• Pray daily for those I’m working and living with – ask if there are any specific prayer requests

Some of these are quite menial but I think that’s okay; after all, if I’m pursuing to do great things for them, I may be slipping back into trying to be great. I need to recognize that no task is too small. I think that by doing these, God will continue to challenge my heart to grow closer to His. I also trust that as I seek to serve, I will find more ways to serve. What are ways you can serve others…serve them with complete disregard for what you will get out of it? Maybe you can partner with me in doing little things each day that will serve others without asking (outwardly or even in your heart/mind) for anything in return. Maybe it can start with those closest to you...those who’s love you may take for granted. Then we can begin to reach out to those further out. I would love to hear any stories/experiences that you have gained by doing this…not to be glorified but to encourage all of us. You are welcome to comment on this post to share.

Psalm 109:21(a) & 27 – “But You, O God the Lord, deal with me for your name’s sake…that they may know that this is your hand – that you, Lord, have done it!”

Experiences

So much has happened in the last couple months, and I’m truly sorry for not keeping you more updated. It will be difficult for me to share even half of what has gone on here in Liberia, so I thought I would share just a couple experiences with you by showing you a few pictures as I tell you the stories. 

Monitoring CLTS is Soloblo, Glarro District

Soloblo is a very small community in a very far away district. They are one of our Community-Led Total Sanitation (CLTS) communities. CLTS is a sanitation and hygiene program purposed to eliminate open-defecation at the community level. Our CLTS program has been led by two national-staff facilitators, Emmanuel Brewer (a.k.a. Emman) and T. Johnson Cooper (a.k.a. Cooper). These two guys spend more time traveling and sleeping in the bush than doing pretty much anything else. They are such hard workers, and always have a great attitude. We have been so blessed by what they have done, and the manner in which they have done it. They have also served as great spiritual leaders for our River Gee WASH team. Anyways, back to Soloblo. Soloblo has had the best response out of all 20 communities we have done CLTS in. They are expected to be completely open-defecation free very soon. Thank God oh! In this particular adventure, we were traveling to this community to observe and encourage the progress that the community had made. 
The travel started with a three hour Land Cruiser ride along a bumpy, muddy road. As we were driving over a concrete culvert, we got high-centered and stuck...pretty much due to poor back-filling during very rainy conditions. I was amazed with the expertise that our driver, Desmond, and the others have in getting cars out of the mud. They were assisted by a man on a motorbike who was just passing by and after only about 30 minutes or so, we were free to continue. 

We then came to the next road...this road was so overgrown and bushy that you couldn't even see the road...somehow Desmond just knew where to go. It truly felt like we were just driving straight through the bush. Eventually this road cleared as we pulled into the community of Sackor. We parked the car and were greeted very kindly by the community members. We were invited into one home to sit and talk. They offered us a quota (often in the form of drink or small food), which is their way of expressing to us that we were welcome there. We could not stay long, however because we had to continue to Soloblo. 

From Sackor, we began to walk. The trail to Soloblo was also very overgrown (upon our return to Sackor, we pleaded that they clean up the path to make it safer and easier to travel on...bushy paths lead to more snakes, scorpions and other dangerous creatures venturing onto the path.). We marched through the bush for about 45 minutes before coming upon the next town, Quiah Town. Again, we could only stay for a short time because we had more walking to do to get to Soloblo. In Quiah Town, we picked up a guide...this guide led us down the next trail. We crossed over a log bridge then took a ride on a wooden canoe across a river. We walked a little ways further and finally reached our destination. 

Soloblo is a very small community, just over 50 people. They welcomed us very generously and were excited to show us the progress they had made in building their latrines. It was so encouraging to see their latrines...completely built by themselves, with their own materials, their own designs, and with their own sweat. I loved seeing the pride they took in showing us their work. After seeing all the latrines, the Town Chief, Frank Teah, invited us into his home. He left us there alone for several minutes...when he finally returned, he was carrying about ten coconuts and about twenty oranges. He began cutting into the coconuts and giving them to us to drink. I stuffed my belly with two coconuts and when he offered me a third, I had to politely decline. Time was not in our favor because we had to get back to the vehicle in Sackor before it got dark. Frank urged me to pack my backpack full of oranges to take back with us. So with a full belly, a heavy backpack and a whole lot of gratitude and joy from our visit, we began our journey back to the car and then back to base. This was one of my most memorable days here. 

School Health Clubs (SHC) and Global Hand-washing Day (GHD) Celebration

The month of October was a very busy month. With deadlines quickly approaching, our School Health Club trainers, Archie and Helena, had a heavy work load. Within the month of October, their tasks included training SHCs in 23 different communities, training students in four CLTS communities to make soap, as well as planing and implementing a celebration for Global Hand-washing Day on October 15th. With the help of the rest of the WASH staff in River Gee, and especially with the help of God, they succeeded in meeting their goals for the month. 

Archie (center)

Helena (left)

Each SHC is made up of twenty students, ten girls and ten boys. They are appointed as leaders in their schools to promote, encourage and implement proper hygiene and sanitation practices. The training of these students includes things such as proper hand-washing and the critical times to wash your hands, keeping the school clean by picking up trash and cleaning the latrines, proper handling and storing of food and water, and other hygienic practices.

Helena and Archie are so great with the kids. They play games, sing songs, and encourage the students to be involved, all while establishing a respect from the children. It was my pleasure to join them in several trainings, and although I took a back seat position in the classroom, evaluating the sessions and taking photos, I truly enjoyed observing the children as they learned. My favorite thing was having the opportunity to play games with the children. Often when I show up, the students and teachers assume that I'm the "boss man", there to critique the work that is being done. Even though I try to dispel this misunderstanding, it can still sometimes create an awkwardness that may be due to intimidation. Playing the games with the children is a fun way to break down these barriers and encourage them that I am not there as a big boss-man but that I am there to simply encourage them and love them.

Hand-washing was the primary theme for the trainings in October...this was in preparation to the GHD celebration. On October 15th, we held a large celebration in Fish Town, River Gee...the capital city in River Gee county. I wrote a short summary of this day which ended up being posted on the Samaritan's Purse website. Here is my summary of that day.

For Global Hand Washing Day on October 15, River Gee County in Liberia celebrated by bringing more than 200 students, teachers and local authorities together for several festivities. I thank God for His provision in a smooth program, plenty of food, safety in transport, and cooperative and interested participants.

We started the day early by sending several cars out to pick up students from the School Health Clubs in the nearby communities. We were able to begin a march through town at approximately 8:45 a.m. We marched down the main street of Fish Town singing hand washing awareness chants.

After finishing the march at the City Hall, we had our special guests and the students all wash their hands at a couple of hand-washing stations set up just outside the building. We began the indoor program at around 10:15. This program included songs, dramas, recitations of Scripture, and a quizzing competition all performed by the students of the School Health Clubs. These were certainly the highlights for the entire day.

One drama, performed by students from Teajaliken Public School, was especially good. The students’ understanding and motivation to share the message of proper hand washing was clearly displayed through the drama. I was impressed not only with this drama, but also with all the performances and involvement from the students.

The quizzing competition was another highlight for the day. Two schools, each with five selected students, competed in a game show-style competition, answering questions about proper hand washing. This was a fun part of the day and really energized the audience. All of the students were impressive in their abilities to share how much they have learned through the School Health Club training. I think their performance was a great display of the impact that God, through Samaritan’s Purse, has had on these children. The water, sanitation, and hygiene staff received many praises on the quality of education that has been given.

When the program was complete, everyone was given a cake of soap and asked to wash their hands. We then gave food to everyone, and the students were taken back to their homes. I thank God for all He did this day. His Spirit was clearly present. The atmosphere was positive and fun, full of laughing and dancing. I believe Samaritan’s Purse was represented well, and, more importantly, I believe God was pleased in the way He was represented.

This celebration was so fun to be part of. I was so blessed by the opportunity to spend time with the children in a more relaxed and fun environment. I set a goal for the month of October to be able to let go of my concerns with what people may be thinking about me. This day was a great opportunity to do this. As we marched down the street i was able to march, chant and clap alongside the students. In the town hall, I had the opportunity to dance to music (certainly looking quite foolish) and joke with the children. To top it off, I had the opportunity to serve the children by distributing soap and food. I was so caught up in the moment that I completely forgot that people may be judging my actions. I thank God for giving me a spirit of confidence - finally and abandonment of my own insecurities. I was personally blessed at the end of the day.


I have so many stories, and I hope to continue to share them with you as time goes on. But for now...these two will have to do. Thanks for making it through this post...I know it was long. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I can't believe I will be back home is less than a month! The time has truly flown. I love you all!

 “But You, O God the Lord, deal with me for your name’s sake…that they may know that this is your hand – that you, Lord, have done it!”

Psalm 109:21(a) & 27

*This blog does not reflect the views of my employer, Samaritan's Purse. It is simply my own expression of my experiences here in Liberia.

August Experiences

Romans 5:2b-5 — “And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Hold Spirit, who has been given to us.”

James 1:2-4 — “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So each month we (the interns) are to write a report on what projects we have been a part of, what kind of challenges we have faced and what kind of successes we have experienced. I think my biggest success story for the first month of working in Liberia has been generated through the challenges I have faced…challenges with culture, health, insecurities, and being far outside my comfort zone. This may seem backwards and may not seem like a true success story, but I believe the Lord has led me into those challenges. I fully believe that wherever God leads me, even through the valley of the shadow of death, I am blessed that He is leading me. If I know the Lord has led me to a place in life, that is a success story regardless the difficulties.

My first month in Liberia has not been only challenges but it has had a few. Apart from the outward challenges that I have experienced (getting sick) I have been challenged internally, both mentally and spiritually. Being introduced to a new culture, a new work place, and an entirely new community of people, I have been challenged to rely on God as my constant. In unfamiliar situations it is easy for me to be a recluse. I naturally seek temporary comfort through alone time. Although I have always kind of considered myself as more of an extrovert, I am learning that at times I am most certainly an introvert. But through the years the Lord has shown me that while seclusion brings me temporary comfort, it does not make me come alive. God wants me to come alive. Not that being introverted is wrong…that’s exactly how God has created some people. I have found, still, that through community, openness, and vulnerability God establishes in me strength and purpose.

Furthermore, the Lord has taught me through the years that while I desire comfort, comfort is not conducive to growth. When I become comfortable, I become complacent; when I become complacent, I become apathetic; and when I become apathetic, I become spiritually dull. Therefore, the Lord has challenged me by moving me from one unfamiliar situation to another to not grow comfortable with my situation. This process can be a little overwhelming and lonely at times, but those feelings only make me run to God.

I say all of this to express that I have been challenged my first month in Liberia to die to my own habits of reclusiveness and comfort-seeking. God has challenged me by putting me right in the middle of circumstances that I do not naturally appreciate. But as long as the Lord is leading me into these challenges, I welcome them with joy knowing that my Father has bigger plans for me. I know He is developing His son into what He created him to be. I thank God that He challenges me because I know that He is making me more “mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

It is difficult to know where to begin in describing what I have had the opportunity to experience thus far. This first month has been hectic, yet strangely, often slow-paced. I have had the opportunity now to visit two sub-bases outside Monrovia. The River Gee base (River Gee is a county within Liberia) is where I spend most of my time. I was also able to briefly visit another base in Lofa County in a town called Foya. There is one other base in another county that I have not yet had the opportunity to visit. These bases are where most of the field work is based out of. From these bases, each day staff branch out to the villages in the surrounding areas to share Christ’s love through Bible storytelling, sanitation and hygiene education, water provision projects, agricultural projects, and so many other things. 

One of a couple hand-dug well projects. 

This particular well was 27 culverts 

deep...that's 54 ft.

I have had the opportunity to visit several of the villages near to and far from our base in River Gee. Being the WASH (Water, Sanitation and Hygiene) intern, I get to work on hygiene and sanitation provision (e.g. latrine construction) and awareness and water provision projects. Hand-dug wells, school latrine construction, and hygiene awareness and promotion are a few of our primary focuses. Some of the villages that we have reached are very far, and traveling has been a major challenge. But even through the challenges, the experiences have been amazing. 

This is a new four-cubicle alternating-pit latrine for one of the schools. Alternating-pit latrines are considered more sustainable due to their design. In a single cubicle alternating-pit latrine, there are two pits in the ground. One pit is used at a time. When the first hole is filled, the other is then opened. During that time, the first can compost. After the second pit is filled the first is ready to remove the compost (which can then be used as fertilizer) and begin to be used again as the second composts. A four-cubicle latrine acts along the same principle but has five pits in the ground that can be rotated.

The roads here can be brutal. We ride motorbikes or sometimes walk a couple hours to reach many of the villages. Before I came to Liberia, I had never ridden a motorbike. I am slowly learning but my skills are not yet to the point of being able to ride on these roads. Therefore, I have the pleasure of squeezing on the back of a bike and holding on for dear life as we bump, slide, and get stuck on these roads. After a long journey (sometimes about 4+ hours) and a very sore tailbone, it is great to get to the villages and stretch the legs. 

The roads to some of the communities are
very very challenging to get through.

...and sometimes there are no roads at all.

One of these particular journeys, I had the opportunity to spend the night in one of the villages. This was great to experience, and I pray and expect I will have more chances to do this again. The people of this village were so welcoming. That evening a worship service was being held in one of the homes. We heard the music as we were eating dinner so we headed over to participate. Worship here in Liberia can be so free. I love that people are free to dance, shout, and clap all they want. While I think some people, just like anywhere, do this more to show off, it is great to see those who are genuinely filled with God’s joy and cannot help but express it through worship. It reminds me of King David and his way of worshiping God through song and dance. I have learned from them that worship is not for those around me to observe, but it is a gift to God. That should be my focus as I praise Him, not what everyone else is thinking. 

These are a couple pictures from the sanitation and hygiene awareness that we have done in the villages.

Again, describing what life here is like is difficult, especially since I have not kept up with writing down my experiences. I do not count this as a loss, however, because it has been the lessons learned that have made a major impact on me instead of the particular stories that I could tell. God has been showing Himself to be so alive and active since I have been here…revealing more of who He is and who He wants me to be every day. These are the things that I would love to share with everyone…both the little lessons and the big lessons that He has shown me. Often I get to write down what I feel the Lord is teaching me in a journal. Journaling has been such a great way for me to communicate to God. It is almost like we are writing letters back and forth. I would encourage everyone to give it a try…even if you don’t think you are very interested or very good at journaling. Anyways, I love to look back at the lessons that He has taught me to observe where He has helped me grow and where I have lost focus. I would love to share just a few of these journal entries as my way of showing what God has been teaching me here.

July 26, 2013:

Here is a thought that has been developing in my head. In 1 Corinthians 2:6-16 (you can click on the links to find the passages) Paul discusses the wisdom of God, given to believers. In verses 9-10 Paul references Isaiah (64:4) when he writes “However, as it is written: ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ – the things God has prepared for those who love Him – these are the things God has revealed to us by His Spirit.”

So, if I understand correctly, we can’t have any real wisdom, wisdom of God’s mind, unless He directly gives it to us. Isn't it interesting how much we have been deceived! The original sin came about by an attempt to know more…to have God’s wisdom and to basically be gods by ourselves. We tried to obtain wisdom from the enemy. He deceived us, and instead, really gave us foolishness. Now we constantly and foolishly still try to gain wisdom through our own power. We try taking the future into our own hands, we try explaining creation and miraculous mysteries with our own minds, perceptions, and intuition in an attempt to receive the credit of being wise or to control our future. Here in 1 Corinthians, we are reminded that this attempt for wisdom is sinful and futile. God, and only God, can give us wisdom when he wants…it’s His job.

This seems so tough to be okay with sometimes. But verse 12 is encouraging. It says, “Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.” Now we can’t get too carried away. This doesn’t mean that we’ll know everything. It means that God will give us wisdom little by little according to His plan. That isn’t His obligation! It’s His gift and we need to receive and hold wisdom humbly. We didn’t earn it, it was shared with us. We should be so thankful.

We also know that the Spirit dwells within us. How cool is that!? The spirit is a direct connection for God’s wisdom to reach me (John 16:12-15). This is so important. We know from Scripture (John 16:7) that we are at an advantage now because the Spirit lives in us. That’s not how it has always been, not until after Jesus’ death. So why do I always envy the way God used to communicate with His people? I like how straight forward and obvious it was…an angel, God’s voice, Jesus, etc. The problem was that an occurrence like that had to happen to you or to a prophet who would then tell you. Now we have the Spirit, our communication and power, with us 24/7. We can hear him constantly. It doesn’t leave us like the angels would after the message was delivered. We don’t have these “big” occurrences because we don’t need to. Wishing for them would be like wishing to be away from your wife for long periods of time just so that the occasional visit would be a great and extraordinary experience. No! If you love someone, you will want to be with them constantly, constantly growing closer and learning about them. That is what God has now offered to me…to be with me constantly, so I can know Him better, grow closer to Him, and hear Him constantly. But just like in any relationship, we can grow complacent and forget to appreciate the blessing of the presence of the Spirit. Just like we don’t always treat our loved ones properly because we take for granted the fact that they are always with us, I don’t always trust the Spirit and treat Him right because I have grown complacent of His presence. I need to appreciate this gift. I am so blessed. I just need to listen and trust the He will really guide me, like He has promised to do.

July 31, 2013:

Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

Why is waiting on God so difficult for us to do? Why, when His timing doesn’t seem convenient enough for us, do we get so frustrated? Why do we think that we can actually handle things without him? It can be so difficult to wait for God’s timing. Saul struggled to wait on the Lord and he tried acting in his own power (1 Samuel 13:1-15). His position was stripped from him, his power was taken, and his mind (wisdom) was made useless. It is so important to wait on God. He’s not up somewhere playing cruel games on us to make us struggle with waiting. He has a plan and a reason. When we can’t wait, or more like when we don’t wait, we are basically eating the fruit at the Garden of Eden. We are telling God, “You haven’t given me enough so I want more. I want to rule my life. I want to be responsible for myself.” Just like He did at the garden, God simply replies with, “Okay, have it your way. I’m sorry that’s what you want.” We are then responsible for ourselves. We experience separation from our power source, and just like an unplugged laptop, our battery gives us the illusion that we’re now living, but in reality we’re dying. We’re dying because we couldn’t handle to just trust our maker, the one who knows us better than we do ourselves, our source to life, the omniscient and omnipotent Lord of everything…we couldn’t trust him and his timing. Waiting on the lord demonstrates our trust and our recognition of our dependence on Him. I love what this verse says about what God will do for those who wait for Him. He says that those who wait on Him will have renewed strength…that they’ll have perseverance. It seems that we often think of waiting as exhausting, but on the contrary, it’s rejuvenating. If we don’t wait we will run and we will grow weary. It’s exciting to think about how much God has planned, more than we could ever think up on our own. If we are in a time of waiting, count it as a blessing that He is giving you the endurance you will need for that plan...so you will not grow weary partly through it.

August 20, 2013:

What if I told you that God plants His saints in the most useless places? Doesn’t that seem a bit off? Doesn’t that just kind of irk you? Well, it irks me a bit. What if I told you that, nevertheless, it’s true? God puts us in places that we are utterly useless. We don’t like to be considered useless. We want to have value and ability. We want our time and efforts to not be wasted, to not be futile. But the hard truth is that our efforts really are useless. I have been experiencing this here in Liberia. I feel like my education is not applicable, like my past experiences have not brought me far enough to give me comfort in my circumstances, and like I’m honestly not good at starting new friendships in an unfamiliar culture. I feel quite useless at times. We must recognize first that we are useless and second, that God wants us that way. Ouch huh!? I think this is what Solomon realized when he wrote Ecclesiastes…our efforts and the things we strive for are quite useless. But, there is hope. You may say, “Hey, what about ‘I can do all things!’?” That is absolutely right! Once we realize that we are totally useless, we can have two responses. We can respond with total despair, crawl into a hole and cease to exist…or, we can turn to the one thing that can give us use and purpose…God. God wants us to depend on Him because He wants us close. That’s how He made us. But just like Adam and Eve, we want to do it on our own. We want credit, glory, wisdom and power. When we pursue that, God says, “Okay you can go ahead and try but that’s not how I made you to function. That’s not how I designed you.” That’s not how we were made to thrive. We were made to thrive via the Lord. That is awesome because that means we get to be close to our Daddy. We are useless people put into useless situations…and through that we can recognize our need for Dad. In our uselessness we can grow closer to God and His glory shines to us and through us. Furthermore, when we can accept our uselessness without the Lord and when God decides by grace and love to work through us, we can give Him all the glory. Others can better see Him rather than us. So next time you feel useless you can respond by saying, “That’s right and thank God! I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me!”

(References: Psalm 127:1-2; 1 Peter 5:6-7; John 15:5; Philippians4:13; My Utmost for His Highest – Oswald Chambers, August 10th entry)

August 29, 2013:

Lately, I have been feeling conviction from the Lord. A couple days ago I was sick with a fever and a bad stomach. I got frustrated and despised my situation. Since then, the Lord has stepped in to show me that I need to grow more in Him. My frustration came about as a lack of faith and trust in Him. I believe we are put through or allowed to go through difficult circumstances so that through God’s power we can overcome the trial, whether physically, mentally or spiritually. It is an opportunity for Christ to shine through our faith. I was further convicted within the next couple days as I was reading the blog of a good friend, Hannah Velling (she is currently in Kenya serving at a hospital). I was humbled as I saw my friend living out her faith and giving God all the glory. Hannah greatly impressed me through her writing and I came to realize that I’m not the best person out there…no duh right? Sadly, this really was convicting. The Lord has used the last few days to show me where I need growth. Hannah was so open and vulnerable about her experiences and her walk with God, and I thought she wrote with great wisdom. God used reading her blog and other experiences to put me in my place. He seems to keep doing that. He continues to put me in circumstances that I am unfamiliar with and uncomfortable with. This challenges me and I have the opportunity to see my weaknesses. Earlier this week I read something in My Utmost for His Highest that reminded me that this rebuke is a great thing and to not be ashamed. I can actually feel honored that I have been brought down. Sounds counterintuitive and like a contradiction…but sounds Biblical too, huh? (Something like those who are great must first become little) The scripture that Oswald Chambers used in this devotion was Hebrews 12:4-6.

Hebrews 12:4-6 – “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the ones He loves, and He chastens everyone he accepts as His son.’”

(Also see Proverbs 3:11-12)

Through this passage, I have learned that I am God’s son and all He is saying is, “Son, you’re not there yet. Reel it in and I’ll teach you more.” I know that God has big plans and I’m honored that He is including me in them…but I’m also humbled because I am finding myself more and more inadequate. But that’s good. If I am inadequate I am more inclined to lean on the one who is. I think that through being here, God is putting me through several tests. He has taught me a lot over the past few years and now it is evaluation time. And through these evaluations, He continues to teach me.

Oswald Chambers discusses about when God did this same thing with Elisha in 2 Kings 2. God taught Elisha through the great prophet Elijah, but finally it was time for Elijah to go and for Elisha to have a chance to put to practice what he had been taught. If God has been teaching me, He’s not going to let it go unpracticed…and I am learning that I am not there yet. And honestly, I will probably never be “there”, but I need to continue to seek the Lord and grow in faith.

Sometimes I look at others and say, “Wow! They have real faith. I want to be more like them.” That was my reaction in reading Hannah’s blog. But the reality is “He chastens everyone he accepts as his son [or daughter].” I’m not alone here. Even Kind David needed chastening. The great thing is that it means He sees me as His son! I want to welcome rebukes with joy and thankfulness because my Dad is drawing me closer.

To sum it all up...as I look through my journal and as I look back at my experiences so far I can see that God is stretching me so I can grow. He is putting me through challenging situations and through my failures He draws me closer and closer. I believe God is trying to teach me three main things…FAITH, TRUST and SURRENDER. These three things really go together. I thank God for these lessons.

I also thank God for all of you…my family, friends, church, mentors, etc. It is because of you that I can even be here today. A year ago I traveled to Liberia for 10 days. I never imagined the way that God would use that trip to give me such direction. So many of you made that trip possible, and, therefore, you made this trip possible too. Thank you for your continued prayer. I can honestly feel God’s response to your prayers. It means so much to me to have that support back at home. I ask that you do not grow weary in those prayers. That’s the thing about surrendering to God…you realize more and more how much you need that kind of support. Please pray for good health, opportunities to share Christ with those around me, direction for after this internship, and focus on the here and now (it can be easy to start looking too far ahead and then miss what is all around). Thank you and I love you all!

Here are a few more pictures:

Apparently this rock/cave was the home of an expat who did work in Lofa County.

Largest and probably most terrifying spider I think I have ever seen.

We are so blessed to have a plane to take us to the different bases!

Across this river is actually the Ivory Coast

This is a rooftop rainwater collection tank. This is not actually one of the projects that I have been a part of. It was a previous project that was completed just before I arrived in Liberia. I had the opportunity to see several of the previous projects when I traveled to Lofa County.

*This blog does not reflect the views of my employer, Samaritan's Purse. It is simply my own expression of my experiences here in Liberia

Just Getting Started

The view from just outside our house

The following is an email that I sent out to just a few people after I was in Liberia for just over a week. I thought I would first share this to keep you all updated from the beginning of my experience. Some of it isn't so relevant anymore, but this was where I was at several weeks ago.

Well my experience here so far is just getting started; I've been in Liberia for just over a week now, but nonetheless, I feel like I've been here much longer than that. When I first arrived, I was feeling a bit off, a little bit strange. I don’t know exactly why, but I think it was a bit of exhaustion, mixed with some I can’t believe I’m actually finally here, and definitely some what am I doing here, I am so out of place. But throughout the last week, God has really been giving me comfort and establishing a home here for me (Now, that doesn't necessarily mean a permanent home. I’m still listening to God about that). The past week here in Monrovia has seriously been like a vacation. It is so beautiful at the compound here. My house, the “House of Men” as my roommates like to call it, is literally right in front of the beach, the exact same beach I was on a year ago, two doors down from the house we stayed in. Our front window’s view is of beautiful waves crashing into the sandy beach. It is such a place of relaxation and retreat (which I hear I will need after several weeks in the “Bush”).

Rafting near Monrovia

When I first arrived on Friday we stayed up until about two in the morning playing cards and getting to know each other. The next day we drove about 40 minutes to a nearby resort. There we rafted in a lagoon and swam in the ocean. This was our first part of “orientation”. It was a great day to have fun and still relax a bit. I think the Lord really used it to calm my nerves. Sunday we went to church above one of the restaurants (P.A.’s Ribhouse) we ate in last year. It has been so fun getting to see the exact same things a year later and experience them not so much as a tourist. The church we went to was actually started by a team of Kenyans who came here as a church planting team. One of the leaders, Steve, actually visits our house often. It has been a lot of fun getting to know him. I look forward to going to church there again this weekend. Monday I started work. It has mostly consisted of reading handbooks, proposals and plans to get caught up with what we’re working on. I had an opportunity to visit a very poor community in Monrovia called West Point, where a summer intern has been teaching dance to the young girls living there. It is amazing how that class has opened up the opportunity to share Jesus and see the joy they are finding through that.

Friday I finally got a better understanding of what my schedule will look like for the next month or so. It looks like I will be spending the majority of my five months here out in the county of River Gee, the location of our most remote base here in Liberia. I will be in the jungle riding motorbikes and walking to villages and visiting schools to help with the WASH programs. We are so fortunate to have a plane to fly back and forth between River Gee and Monrovia. Otherwise, the drive would take somewhere around 18 hours due to the road conditions.

I appreciate your prayers so much. They are so important and recognized here. I would love your continued prayer for me and the team here. Please pray that I will continue to find comfort in my surroundings here. There will be times coming up that I will be the only non-local around. Please pray that I am not overwhelmed but that God will help me thrive through the challenge of unfamiliarity. Please pray that language will not be too much of an issue. English is the official language in Liberia, but Liberian English is so different and so difficult to understand. Please pray that I will pick up on it and be able to communicate with those around me effectively. Also, please pray that the Lord will continue to protect us from the enemy. Great things are being done here in God’s name and for His kingdom, and due to that the enemy attacks. Please pray for strength and peace through Christ. I know that when God is for me, none can be against me. It is a great opportunity to pursue God and completely rely on His protection and guidance.


*This blog does not reflect the views of my employer Samaritan's Purse. It is simply my own expression of my experiences here in Liberia